You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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