I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
