BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
