i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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