I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
