So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
