with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
