end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
