Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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