I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
