Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize