just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
