wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
