It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
