Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
