Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
