I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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