I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
