Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize