Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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