he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize