It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
