He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
