so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
