i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
