I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
