So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
