Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
