i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
