thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The power of my boobs compel you
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
