Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize