I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
