So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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