you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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