Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize