She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
