you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
