I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
