I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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