I've blown a few things in my day
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
