My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
