He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
