I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
