Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Your cock deserves a montage
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
