jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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