I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
