He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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