this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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