Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I love having hate sex.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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