The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
