time to smoke my breakfast
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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