i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i drank out of a bidet.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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