Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
as a side note pls kill me
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
