i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
