I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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