Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
