hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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