YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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