I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
