tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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