Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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