My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
