TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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