If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
