idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
