I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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