Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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