The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
