Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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