just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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