Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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