Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
