All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
