i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
