i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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